Beards per minute

Given their closer orbit to his normal spheres of listening, I'm surprised Simon missed a whole rash of beards beyond the fuzzy folk types discussed in this Guardian piece (and in his blissblog follow-up).

For starters, minimal techno does not mean minimal facial hair.


Particularly for the acknowledged master of the field.


This minimal-techno-dubstep spectrum clearly needs to be extended as minimal-techno-dubstep-beards, looking at this Perlon new boy:


Then there's Sam Shackleton's former Skull Disco colleague:


There may be a West Country thing going on here . . . Bristol is a pretty beardy town, and Bristol's the connection for Appleblim and Bass Clef:


But that's not all re dubstep:


And Hyperdub connects to:


From which you can go hauntological:


Or stay electro/synth-pop (note the double points scored here for beard plus Shoreditch Slug):


From whom the beard's importance to the post-punk electro disco revival is a step away:


Before you even consider random strands like space disco:



And assorted French hipsters like Sebastian Tellier or Justice who I can't be bothered to picture.

I just hope these oversights don't blow up in Simon's face . . . It can only be a matter of time before Joe Muggs pens a heartfelt screed on the narrowness of his initial folk-orientated Face Fuzz Continuum . . . its pernicious effects as a kind of canon formation; how badly it reveals his ignorance of the openness of the modern beard-wearer to a huge variety of influences beyond the Incredible String Band; etc.